Mastering the Art of Not Giving a F*ck: Empower Your Authentic Self

Discover the liberating power of not giving a f*ck with our guide. Learn to embrace your true self, boost confidence, and live on your own terms. Join the movement of whole-person development and be unapologetically you.

Welcome to the bold journey of self-empowerment, where we tackle the liberating concept of how not to give a f*ck. In a world where the personal development industry is booming, valued at an astounding $38.28 billion as of 2021 and predicted to reach $56.66 billion by 2022¹, it’s clear that individuals are seeking ways to improve their lives and well-being. Yet, amidst this growth, a staggering 75% of personal growth comes from on-the-job experiences¹. This statistic highlights a crucial gap in our self-improvement efforts: the need to focus on internal development and individual empowerment.

The art of not giving a f*ck isn’t about neglecting societal norms or responsibilities; it’s about prioritizing your mental health and well-being over the opinions of others. It’s a skill that, when mastered, can lead to many benefits, including increased independence and bravery². By embracing this mindset, you’re transforming your life and contributing to a cultural shift that values authenticity and self-assurance.

How To Not Give a Fuck

WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE.

I’m not an as*hole or b*tch about it, either. But first, a disclaimer…

In this article, I want to share with you how to not give a fuck.

With honesty and politeness, I want to convey that I am a person who doesn’t give a f*ck about a lot of things.

But I do give a f*ck about a lot of things too!

As a result, I read a book entitled “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson.

Enjoyable book! It’s better than it sounds. It gives sound wisdom.

I always reference the Bible The Message version because it also details how to not give a fuck.

With wisdom and in such a profound way.

Hopefully, you understand my plight. But you can’t seem to know why I chose to use the word “f*ck” to express myself.

Simply put, it was the best word to describe my feelings. Well… I’ll explain to help you understand.

In the meantime, if you’re having difficulty digesting the word.

Then use the term “f word” or “bleep” it out while you read if it is just too much for you.

It is ok that you excuse yourself.

So, let me first begin by sincerely not being sorry for what I am about to say.

To anyone, I may offend with my choice of expression within this post.

It’s a sorry, not sorry type of thing.

Now, back to my topic…

This is important because not giving a f*ck is a good thing, and it can also be a terrible thing.

Before we go any further, let’s define what a “f*ck” is:

The Definition of “F*ck”

F*ck is a profane English-language word. Which often refers to the act of sexual intercourse.

But it is used as an intensifier or to denote disdain.

While its origin is unknown, it was first authenticated around 1475 A.D.

When it first came to use, it was described as unpleasant circumstances or people in an offensive way.

Often in an angry, hostile, or aggressive manner.

The modern usage and flexibility of f*ck. It was established in the mid-to-late 19th century. And it has been stable ever since!

It is used more as a general expletive or intensifier.

When I say I don’t give a f*ck about something, I mean I don’t care about that something. But sometimes, I do care.

I want to take the concept further.

According to Sarah Knight. The author of “The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a f*ck and Get Your Sh*t Together. “

Defines our fucks as our time, energy, and money = fuck budget.

I like this definition. Why! Because it puts things in perspective.

A change in thinking is needed in the definition of the word f*ck.

To understand the whole meaning of the word, we need to understand that… There is no one:

• Who doesn’t give a f*ck about anything?
• Who is entirely indifferent to everything?
• Who doesn’t care about anything or anyone?

Most of the people who say they “don’t give a f*ck” give lots of f*cks.

“In the short amount of time between here and there, you have a limited amount of f*cks to give.

Very few. If you go around giving a f*ck About everything and everyone without conscious thought or choice.

Well, then you’re going to get f*cked.” – Mark Manson.

The problem is that too many of us give way too many f*cks about the things that aren’t important and that don’t matter, like:

• The things we can’t control and can’t change.
• The opinions of others, what others think of us, and whether someone else likes us.

The Paradox of Not Give a Fuck

“I’m pretending I don’t give a f*ck by saying “I don’t give a f*ck .” And by putting that out there.

I’m making a conscious decision not to give a f*ck, but in doing so, I’m giving a f*ck about not giving a f*ck.

Which means you give a f*ck.”

– Joe Rogan

Joe Rogan is right. If someone makes a point of saying all the time how they don’t give a f*ck, it’s almost always a dead giveaway that they do.

The truth is that everyone gives a f*ck about something: God. Love. Family. Money. Power. Sex. Status. Whatever.

Even the people you think of as not giving a f*ck. Everyone gave lots of f*cks, maybe not about the same things that you or I do, but they do. Everyone does.

It’s impossible not to give a f*ck about everything, nor is that desirable.

It’s essential to give a f*ck sometimes:

• If you don’t give a f*ck at work, you’ll get fired.
• If you don’t give a f*ck in business, you’ll soon be out of business.
• If you don’t give a f*ck about your friends, you soon won’t have any friends.

Giving too many f*cks about your goals. Even to the point of obsession like LeBron James, Beyonce, or Myles Munroe.

It can be awesome. That’s how successful people are made, and the world is changed.

In life, our f*cks must be spent on something. There is no such thing as not giving a f*ck completely.

The question is how we each choose to administer our f*cks.

You only get a limited number of f*cks to give over your lifetime, so you must spend them with care.

The point is that f*cks must be earned and then invested wisely.

As we get older, some of us gain experience. Notice that most of these things have a lasting impact on our lives.

Those people’s opinions we cared about so much before have long been removed from our lives.

We realize how little people pay attention to the superficial details about us. We focus on doing things more for ourselves than for others.

And strangely, this is liberating. We no longer need to give a f*ck about everything. Life is just what it is. We learn to accept it.

Life f*cking goes on. We now reserve our ever-diminishing f*cks.

Only for the most genuinely f*ckworthy parts of our lives: our families, our best friends, our money.

And to our amazement, this is enough. This simplification makes you and me happy. (Who understands what I’m talking about?)

My ability to give a f*ck has receded to the point of non-existence.

These days I carry out a paradoxical existence where I no longer have the energy to give a f*ck about the essential things in life.

Instead, I must dedicate the few f*cks I have left to the straightforward, tedious, yet increasingly tricky aspects of my life.

I will prioritize my time for the things that matter, and you should, too!

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Review

To the opinions that are in favor of if you don’t quit, you can surpass your weaknesses and become big, philosophy.

The author tells us that this positive self-help advice could be better.

Because it is contributing to your unhappiness. Since it focuses on everything you like.

The conventional think positive perception teaches us that we need to give a f*ck about too many things. Nice houses, beautiful bodies, the latest fashion, and other folks’ business.

Also, T.V. and social media make that feeling even more intense by showing us other people who look like they are enjoying everything we can’t afford.

As a result, we tend to believe that feeling anxious, sad, or unsatisfied is always unacceptable, which makes us feel even worse for feeling these emotions.

The book details a unique way to keep up with this. Once the desire for a more comfortable life awakens unpleasant emotions in us.

Instead, we should learn to accept the negative aspects of our lives.

Which are always unavoidable. The advantages will be more extensive.

We will begin to stop fearing the pain of our negative encounters and will be able to challenge situations without holding back.

All people have a circle of influence and concern, which share the same center in their personalities.

As we face each part of a problem, we must decide how to react to it. Asking ourselves a simple question can help us determine whether it can be fixed.

If we can’t, we should leave it all alone and focus on the other parts we can do something about.

To not give a f*ck is to stare down life’s most terrifying and complex challenges and still act.

According to the author, you must be proactive and not reactive. For example, if we live in a society where unemployment is one of its biggest problems:

• Reactive people do nothing but complain, cry, and wait for a miracle to solve their problems.
• Proactive people focus on what they can do. To make themselves more competitive or even create new jobs.

Manson clarifies that a person should not be indifferent to everything in life but should become comfortable with being different.

A few examples may be our outfit or our choice of career. We should not care what anyone says or thinks about our lifestyle choices.

We are responsible for our own choices, so choose them wisely. But at the end of the day, nobody has a heaven or a hell to put us in but God.

And I understand some may not believe there is a heaven or hell. Well… suit yourself.

To make that happen is to learn how to give a f*ck about something much more important in our life. We have complete control of what is worthy of care.

Bottom line, choose to give a f*ck only about the things that are truly important to you.

So, what are the things that we should and shouldn’t give a f*ck about?

Things You Should Give a F*ck About

• God
• Your career
• Your business
• Your time
• Your money
• Your health
• Your goals
• Your friends
• Your family
• Your partner
• Planet Earth (this is where you live, for God’s sake)

Things You Shouldn’t Give a F*ck About

• What do other people think about you?
• Whether other people like you or not.
• Whether other people approve of your decisions or not.
• The things you can’t control and can’t change.
• The expectations of others – unless it’s your boss or your customers.
• The opinions of others – especially those who don’t know what the f*ck they’re talking about.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t give a f*ck about anything, but here’s why you shouldn’t give a fuck about most things:

• Let’s be honest. Most things aren’t essential and don’t matter.

“Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.” – Arthur Balfour.

• It’s liberating. No one can manipulate you when you stop caring what others think into doing anything you don’t want.
• Not giving a f*ck means releasing yourself from the worry. Anxiety, fear, and guilt are associated with saying no. This allows you to stop spending the time you don’t have with people you don’t like and doing things you don’t want to do.
• Most people aren’t thinking about you anyway. They’re thinking about themselves.

“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”

– Eleanor Roosevelt

• You can only please some. People will criticize and complain no matter what you do. So, you might as well do whatever you want—hence why I wrote this post!

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyway.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

• When you stop giving a f*ck, you’ll take more chances and experience more of what life has to offer. The problem is giving too many f*cks about what other people think. If you become afraid to take chances, your comfort zone starts to shrink, and you start holding back in life.

“Care about what other people think, and you will always be their prisoner.” – Lao Tzu.

How To Not Give a Fuck

• If the answer is no – don’t give a f*ck.
• If the answer is yes – do something about it.

• Do you give a f*ck because it’s really that important?
• Or only because you’ve been brainwashed by other people/the media/social media to give a f*ck?

Make a conscious effort. Not giving a f*ck isn’t easy at first. Especially if you’ve been brainwashed and conditioned to give a f*ck. But the more you practice acceptance and letting go, the easier it gets.

I consciously tried to stop being triggered by what annoyed me about other people. Whenever anyone says or does something I don’t like.

I’m learning (still learning this one) to instantly let it go instead of analyzing it to death or allowing it to build up into something big in my mind.

It’s becoming 2nd nature. I rarely get triggered by anything.

I don’t care or respond even if someone says something that annoys or triggers me.

I have a long way to go. But I’m better than I used to be.

Most people react compulsively to everything everyone says and does. They’re so easily angered.

They are so easily offended and triggered. It’s so easy to push their buttons because they have so many. They’re like children.

You’ll need to try to “let it go” initially consciously.

I promise you that it becomes easier not to react after a while than it does to react.

It seems hard now because you’ve been conditioned to react, and you’re used to it.

Sometimes you have to say f*ck you to people too.

You might be thinking to yourself:

Make a conscious effort.

“I can’t let EVERYTHING go!”

“Some people need to be told their sh*t stinks!”

“Sometimes I need to speak up and say something!”

Sometimes, but only sometimes, and not most of the time.

A wise preacher once told me, “The best deliverance is to be delivered from people.” 

via GIPHY  

Try out what I’m saying and see for yourself. The next time you feel the urge to speak up and say something.

Especially when someone says or does something stupid – don’t – and then see what happens. See if it makes any difference at all.

You’ll find that 99.99% of the time, it doesn’t make any difference. Anyone can yell, scream, argue, and fight.

But it’s even more challenging to let things go, especially in real-time as they happen, without the slightest bit of anger, hatred, or resentment. It’s better for you, too.

And, as I said, the more you practice letting go, the easier it gets. You’ll start to wonder why everyone else is so damn intolerant and reactive.

Just remember they’re like children who can’t help themselves. 

• Accept the things you can’t change.
• Change the things you can—the end.

“Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” – Eckhart Tolle.

Have something more important to focus on.

• Be so busy with your goals that you need more time to sweat the small stuff.

Meditate.

• Practice mindfulness. Keep your attention on the present moment. Desensitize yourself to the things that scare you. If you read the Bible, meditate on the word of God.

It will give you peace. And take that time to journal. It will bless your life!

Remember: Life isn’t promised to any of us. You don’t have time to give a f*ck about pettiness. You don’t.

Stay in the Present.

Here’s the problem:

You think a lot. You always have something in your mind.

According to Dr. Dennis Gersten. A diplomate of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology.

The average person has about “15,000 thoughts per day, of which at least half are negative. And from that, we know that our thoughts turn into our emotions, and our emotions turn into physiology.”

We’re not saying you should stop thinking, but you must give yourself a break from stressful thoughts.

“Peace can exist only in the present moment. It is ridiculous to say, “Wait until I finish this, then I will be free to live in peace.” What is “this”?

A di­ploma, a job, a house, the debt payment? If you think that way, peace will never come.

There is always another “this” that will follow the present one. If you are not living in peace now, you will never be able to.

If you genuinely want peace, you must be at peace right now. Otherwise, there is only “the hope of peace someday.”

So, to keep your mind focused on the present moment, keep these tips in mind:

Refrain from digging into what has happened in the past.

Focus on the things that are within your control.

Refrain from thinking about what may or may not happen soon.

Thinking all the time about the past and the future will only cause you sadness or anxiety.

Your f*cks should stay for the present. This is when you have control, and change occurs in the present.

If a problem is fixable and the situation is such that you can do something about it, there is no need to worry.

If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.

Face Your Fears.

Do you know what’s worse than failure? Not attempting to do something at all. If you want to learn how not to give a f*ck, you must provide a f*ck first.

Doesn’t that make sense? Well, let’s explain it with an example. What if you’ve been worried about starting a business you genuinely like?

What happens is that your fear of failing or being embarrassed stops you from doing it in the first place. And if you never try, you stay in a place of unnecessary nervousness.

Stop Caring About What Others May Think of You.

Nobody can say anything about you. Whatsoever people say about themselves. But you become very unstable because you are still clinging to a false narrative.

That false narrative depends on others. So, you are always looking at what people are saying about you… It’s a waste of your time.

You show that you are not conscious of the self whenever you are self-conscious. You don’t know who you are.

If you had known, there would have been no problem. And you would not be seeking opinions. Then you would not be worried about what others say about you—it would be irrelevant!”

The greatest fear in the world is the opinions of others.

And the moment you are unafraid of the crowd, you are no longer a sheep; you become a lion. A great roar arises in your heart, the roar of freedom.

Remember the great lesson learned. “To be delivered from people is your greatest deliverance.”

Learn the Value of Saying “No”.

To master how not to give a f*ck, you must learn how to say no. You don’t have to reject every single request.

But you must know when to turn one down. You’re afraid to say no for several reasons:

• You don’t want to hurt the feelings of others, especially those dear to you.
• You fear no one will be there when it’s time to ask for help.
• You’re worried you’ll eventually get a bad reputation.

These are concerns that you needn’t worry about. Real friends won’t take it personally if you can’t help them all the time — they won’t ignore your pleas just because of this.

Don’t worry about getting a bad reputation. Like I’ve said earlier:

• Others are too busy worrying about themselves to give any f*ck about you anyway.

You can use this technique to say “no” more often without offending people. It’s called “the refusal strategy. “

Saying “I don’t” instead of “I can’t” allows people to avoid things they don’t want to do.

While “I can’t” sounds like an excuse that could be up for debate. “I don’t” implies you’ve already established rules for yourself.

If you learn to use your f*cks wisely, you’ll be able to say “no” more often.

Stop being that one person everyone asks first because they know you’re always compelled to say yes.

Do you know what happens if you stop? You retake complete control of your life.

You become free. Free from the unrealistic expectations others and you have set. The ability to communicate ‘no’ reflects that you are in the driver’s seat of your own life. It gives you a sense of empowerment.

Become Resilient.

• Resilience and mental toughness are critical attributes to living your best life.
• They determine how high we rise above what threatens to wear us down.
• From battling an illness to dealing with challenging emotions. To carry on after a relationship has ended.

Take the “Agape Road”.

It is equal to taking “the high road. “Remember, a change in thinking is a complete change or reversal in how something is perceived. Love is the key.

Loving God, Loving Yourself, and Loving People. You can’t love people until you love yourself.

What love gets to do with it. The simple answer “EVERYTHING”

God is agape (1 John 4:16 ).

The essential meaning of Agape Strong’s # 25.

“It is an exercise of the divine will and deliberate choice. To prefer, to love. It is to embrace God’s will. Choosing His choices.

For the believer, it means actively doing what the Lord prefers, with Him by His power and direction.

It is God’s absolute by which he measures all things (Acts 17: 31). It is used both as a noun and a verb.

Agape does not love because of the beauty or value discovered. It is a love that comes out of God’s own nature. While phileo is reciprocal.

Agape always reveals God’s own character. When understood, agape reveals our need for Christ, who is agape incarnate.

Agape unfolds in three progressive steps.

• Love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30)
• Love yourself because God loves you. (Matt 22:39, Romans 5:8)
• Love others, even our enemies, in the same manner, and agree that he loved us and gave himself for us (Matt 5:43-48).

Let me insert it here… Loving your enemy is not simple. It takes a lot of courage to get out of your head and feelings about someone to find a way to give up.

Especially when you’ve done nothing to them to make them an enemy in the first place.

I give them agape by saying a simple prayer. “Father bless them, for they know not what they do.”

This doesn’t mean we are about to kick it, though! But it does mean I can overcome my feelings and thoughts about someone and see the bigger picture of love.

This is God’s Love replicated in his own. We must understand our minds and grow our capacity to love in all three ways.

And don’t get twisted. I stand by not giving a f*ck about what other people, especially your enemies, think or say about you.

The key to a peaceful, fulfilling life is knowing when and where to give a f*ck.

You only have a set time here in this life. It would be best to be smart about your limited time. So, enjoy life when you can.

Don’t let your mind get clouded with trivial issues that don’t matter in the grand scheme.

To Sum It All Up!

Don’t stress out about the things that you cannot change. Only focus on what you can change.

Don’t dwell on the past and the future. Pay attention to what you have control over the present moment.

Everyone else is worried about themselves. People don’t give a lot of f*cks about you, so you don’t need to worry about what they think of you.

You are not obligated to lend a helping hand always. Pick your f*cks wisely.

Don’t be a nihilist; find meaning in life and dedicate your f*cks there. You see, learning how not to give a f*ck is all about determination.

It’s about not paying attention to things that don’t matter. So, strive for your big dreams.

Stop giving f*cks.

Your time is necessary — spend it on things that are worth your while.

There are too many f*cks given everywhere. Scattered about like seeds in the springtime.

And for what purpose? For what reason? Convenience? Easy comforts? A pat on the back?

We don’t realize that there is a fine art of non-f*ck-giving. People aren’t born not giving a f*ck. We’re born into giving away too many f*cks.

Developing the ability to control and manage the f*cks you give. It is the essence of strength and integrity.

We must craft and hone our lack of f*ckery for years and decades. Like a fine wine, our f*cks must age into a fine vintage.

This may sound easy. But it is not. Most of us, most of the time, get sucked in by life’s mean trivialities.

Oppressed by its unimportant dramas. We live and die by the distractions and alterations that suck the f*cks out of us. 

Overcoming adversity requires staring failure in the face. And shoving your middle finger back at it.

Become the people who don’t give a f*ck about adversity. Or failure or embarrassing themselves.

The people who laugh and then do it anyway. Because they know it’s right.

They know it’s more important than themselves, their feelings, their pride, and their needs.

They say “F*ck it,” not to everything in life, but instead they say “F*ck it” to everything unimportant in life. They reserve their f*cks for what truly f*cking matters.

Friends. Family. Purpose. And because of that, they reserve their f*cks for only the essential things. The critical stuff is people that give a f*ck about them in return.

So, let us reflect on what is true of value in life. What gives meaning to our lives? Then, let us set our priorities based on that.

The purpose of our life needs to be positive. We weren’t born to cause trouble or harm others.

So, I’m here to assure you it’s ok not to give a f*ck about something.

But for our life to be of value. We must develop fundamental human qualities: love, kindness, and compassion.

Then, our life becomes meaningful and more peaceful.

In Conclusion

As we conclude this empowering exploration, remember that the journey to not giving a f*ck is a personal one. It’s about finding the courage to be authentic, regardless of external pressures. If you’re ready to dive deeper into this transformative process, I invite you to discover my eBook, “Be You: How to Be the Best Version of You.” It’s more than just a read; it’s an inspirational guide designed to assist you along your holistic growth journey. Embrace the full spectrum of who you are and unlock your potential.

Don’t let this be the end of your empowerment. Subscribe to my blog for more insights, follow me on social media for daily inspiration, and share this article to spread the message of self-empowerment. Your thoughts matter to us, so leave a comment in the section below and join the conversation. Together, let’s empower you to empower you.