Learn practical strategies for accepting what you cannot change and finding peace. Discover the latest insights and data on acceptance, resilience, and personal growth. Empower yourself to live a more fulfilling life.

In a constantly changing world, the ability to accept the unchangeable is not just important, and it’s crucial for our growth and mental well-being. A recent study by the APA revealed that a staggering 70% of adults feel overwhelmed by life’s changes. This statistic underscores the urgent need to cultivate resilience and acceptance, as life will always challenge us.

Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up or resigning yourself to a less-than-ideal situation. It means recognizing your circumstances and adapting to thrive. A UC Berkeley study found that accepting people are less stressed and more satisfied with life. Acceptance can bring peace and strength, even in tough times.

One often overlooked aspect of acceptance is its impact on physical health. A Journal of Behavioral Medicine study found that acceptance benefits the heart and reduces inflammation. This link between mind and body shows the benefits of accepting what you cannot change. Integrating acceptance into your daily life can improve your well-being and help you lead a more balanced, fulfilling life.

How To Accept What You Cannot Change

Remember, you cannot change the past, but you can shape the present and the future. This understanding can bring a sense of relief and comfort. -Sadhguru

Ever since the death of my father and husband back-to-back. My family and I have changed from 2018 to the present. Has my mind spent?

I’ve been on this journey of accepting all that has happened, and it hasn’t been easy. It is not for the faint of heart.

To survive on Earth, we must accept what we cannot change.

I have so many different feelings and emotions. I don’t sometimes know if I’m okay for real or not.

I can best describe my current state as “okay,” but I’m not. I’m trying to accept the things I cannot change, and it has been a challenge.

Emotions and feelings are universal human experiences. They can make it challenging to accept what we cannot change but also provide a pathway to understanding and acceptance.

Let’s explore for a moment what emotions and feelings are to us. In other words, what is the actual situation?

What Are Emotions?

Neurotransmitters and hormones trigger physical reactions linked to emotions released by the brain. 

What Are Feelings?

Feelings are the conscious experience of emotional reactions. They originate in the neocortical regions of the brain. 

Emotions spark feelings, and individual experiences shape them. Beliefs, memories, and thoughts are linked to those emotions.

A feeling is the side product of your brain. You are perceiving an emotion and assigning a specific meaning to it.

What Is the Difference Between Feelings and Emotions?

 Understanding the difference between feelings and emotions can provide valuable insights into our emotional experiences. Emotions are the initial triggers, while feelings are the conscious experiences that follow. Our individual experiences, beliefs, memories, and thoughts influence both.

Some people may spend years or even a lifetime. I do not understand the depths of their emotions.

Understanding the depth of our emotions and feelings can lead us toward acceptance.

Can You Choose Your Emotions?

So, the short answer is no. You cannot “control” your emotions. But if you accept them as they are, you can avoid letting them control you.

Is It Wrong to Feel Emotions?

Feeling our emotions is a natural part of being human. It’s okay to experience them as long as we don’t let them control our behavior.

Feeling our most unacceptable emotions in a safe forum is vital. It reduces the likelihood that we will destructively act on them.

It’s possible to feel hurt without acting victimized. And to feel anger without lashing out.

We often let these two things rule us. They make us stagnant when we should have moved on.

It is keeping us from progressing and living life to its fullest.

Why Is Change in Life So Difficult?

Change is difficult as we get older because we create cocoons of comfort. We are looking for safety.

The more security-oriented you are, the more disturbed you will be by every change in your life.

The essence of physical existence is changing. Everything is changing. Is there anything that isn’t changing?

Everything in existence is changing. The very essence of physical reality has changed. Nothing is constant.

Everything has changed. When you resist change, you are resisting the very process of life. Not just your life.

You resist life’s entire process. This will cause you pain.

Once you resist, changing depression is a natural process. Frustration and depression are the best of the devil’s tools.

They will cause you to work against yourself. Frustration evolves into depression when you resist change.

Being depressed and frustrated with life can bring on suicidal thoughts. Some people act on those feelings and emotions. And some of us do not.

Changing how you think about what you can’t change is the answer to changing those feelings and emotions. That will come.

Sometimes, we have no control over when they appear, and we can’t change that either. We can only change how we accept what is now different.

Although everyone has experienced depression in some form, some can’t change the fact that their depression is a result of a medical condition.

Accepting this change can provide medical help to those who struggle with depression and anxiety. Better manage their situation more healthily.

My Aha Moment!

Because I woke up like this, I wanted to understand more about the Serenity Prayer. 

I desired serenity in my situation. The word’s origin was what I was after the state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled.

I found myself speaking aloud the first line of the prayer, which says,

“God, give me the grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,”

And then I looked up the entire prayer… and it reads

“God, give me the grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change things

which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.”

Amen.

It sounds so easy. But it isn’t easy to accept what we cannot change. Why is that? The prayer left me with more questions.

What’s Wrong with the Serenity Prayer?

The problem with the Serenity Prayer. It creates an either/or black-and-white contradiction.

As if all the situations and challenges that a person is confronted by. It can be placed into one or the other bucket.

Suppose you’re in a troubled marriage, a terrible job, or a fusion of both. Saying, “I can’t change this,” as in the Serenity Prayer, leads you to self-destruction.

Of course, accepting the things we cannot change makes sense. But how do we know if a situation is unchangeable, cast in stone?

Given the near-infinite complexity of the world and human relationships, does it make sense to encourage people to make such absolute decisions? I don’t think so.

Our chronological trends about how we think and act in the world.

It can always be incrementally adjusted or adapted. Approaching something purposely or naively, as black or white, sets the stage for meaningful missed opportunities.

Like forgiveness and reconciliation.

Think of it as a light switch. There is the old-fashioned on-and-off switch, which is consistent with the Serenity Prayer.

And then there is the dimmer switch, which tones up or down the lighting in any room.

The Serenity Prayer should, therefore, not be looked at as “either-or.” “black-and-white,” “yes or no,” “right or wrong,”

But in a way that accepts that almost everything can be modified or adapted to a degree, even if it’s incomplete.

We can change everything; you mustn’t throw your hands up and say you’re powerless before making any real effort.

Suppose the reality is that you are only able to change something to a degree. Minimizing incremental growth and change in your healing process is not helpful.

Healing is a process of incremental change. As we change, things that may have seemed impossible can and should be examined with fresh eyes.

Things can be changed to a degree. Some things cannot be altered, such as when the sun comes up or the law of gravity. And the real tough one. Death!

ESPECIALLY DEATH! We cannot change that. We must accept it and move on. And it is a process.

It also requires the human spirit to accept what you cannot change.

We must accept that death is a process of life. There is a time and a season for everything.

A time to be born and a time to die! We must accept that reality when we lose our loved ones.

But in many situations, especially when dealing with another person. It can be modified.

We should not throw our hands up and say, “It can’t be changed,” give up and stop trying. The truth is we can change our behavior without changing it 100%.

We all have the power to change anything!

Serenity Men’s Fitted Short Sleeve T-shirt

Life is all about incremental modifications. Without them, you may miss a vast array of options that may be present beneath a situation’s surface.

It is nonsense to tell someone they can’t improve upon and influence their behaviors.

We mustn’t feel stuck and not give credence to the truth that we all, as human beings, are free and can change most of our behaviors.

When you are told that you cannot change something, you can get depressed, become oppositional, or feel hopeless.

The Serenity Prayer’s black-and-white mentality leaves no room for modification, experimentation, or nuance. Life isn’t that way.

It is about discovering and understanding the many hidden colors between the black and the white.

The array of options can lead us to creative progress: empowerment and self-discovery.

How Do You Accept the Things You Cannot Change?

Spend time reflecting on what you can do better because of the new change in your life.

Find purpose in how you live moving forward. That’s how you can not only accept what can no longer be changed but also benefit from it in the future.

ACCEPTANCE IS FREEDOM!

Why Is Acceptance Freedom?

Within yourself, you must come to a total acceptance of everything.

You only have 24 hours to come to a total acceptance of everything.

Your mental things, emotional things, body things. Relationship things, social things, every damn thing.

Accept it as it is. You don’t have to do anything with anybody, just within yourself. If you do this, life will happen on a larger scale.

Life will give you the true meaning of the pain you endured, the loss you are experiencing, and the change you are experiencing.

It all has a purpose and will be revealed at its appointed time.

Until that appointed time, whatever you do, be open to accepting what cannot be changed and, starting within, really changing the things that can.

In Conclusion:

Accepting what you cannot change is a transformative journey. It can bring you greater peace, resilience, and well-being. Acceptance can help you face life’s uncertainties. It brings strength and grace. In the end, it leads to a more fulfilling, balanced life. Our research shows acceptance significantly affects mental and physical health. It is vital for holistic development.

To support your journey, I recommend my eBook, “Be You: How to Be the Best Version of You.” It offers strategies to help you accept yourself and live your best life. Buying through the affiliate links on my blog supports my work. I earn a commission on each sale.

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